On Being a Victim and Other Illusions
By Nancy Fischer, H.C., NAP

 

     While our sacred contracts provide our life dramas each earthwalk, it is how we choose to respond to these adventures that determines how we will experience life.  We can express love and gratitude to the Universe for providing these powerful opportunities for us to learn the lessons we choose to learn or we can respond with fear and carry the illusion of being victims for the terrible things that have been done to us.  As with everything on earth, it is a choice.

The same is true if our sacred contracts involve something as deplorable by human standards as incest or some other form of sexual trauma.  In the spirit realm there is no judgment of any kind.  Everything is viewed from a place of love and the Universe creates the illusion of these life dramas with no emotional attachment.  It is the human ego that attaches judgment and shame to any experience because it derives the illusion of power from this judgment.  No act is either good or bad, right or wrong in the spirit realm; it is only the judgments our human egos create that make them so.  We choose these human lifetimes precisely so we can have the wide range of emotions we would otherwise not know firsthand.  Without these emotions that accompany the human experience, we would not be able to pierce the illusions the Universe creates for us in order to learn the lessons we choose, such as self-love. 

Humans are addicted to shame and the children who experience sexual trauma feel compelled by shame to keep the family secret of the violation.  They derive the illusion of power from the secret they hold and even arrogance from the mantle of victimization they carry throughout life from this illusion. 

If there is human trauma in a child’s life, he or she carries the illusion of being a victim and remains at the emotional age the trauma occurred, even though physically an adult.  This is also true of perpetrators who are, virtually always, wounded children in adult clothing who continue to hold the illusion and victim energy from their own sexual trauma.  When the child clings to the notion of being either victim or perpetrator, he or she will never be functional in human terms until, as an adult, he or she learns to re-parent the inner children who carry this shame and victim energy. To transmute the energy of the event and see it as the gift it is, rather than the violation ego would have them believe it is.  Unless they are able to do this, these traumatized humans will continue to hold the illusion both of being victims and of gaining power as a result.

The reality of the illusion, of course, is that there are no victims, only volunteers.  It is impossible to do anything without the express knowledge and agreement of Creator.  On the spiritual level we understand that every experience has value because it is provided with love by the Universe to help us learn.  There can be no victims because we are all volunteers by virtue of our sacred contracts.

As long as we are in these human bodies, we will experience all the pain, trauma and emotions inherent to them.  From the spiritual perspective, however, in order for us to evolve, we must live the life of extremes to learn the life of balance.  We can never ascend to a level that is higher proportionately than the depths to which we are willing to descend.  The more challenging the lesson, the greater the opportunity we have for spiritual growth.  Challenging lessons will always be part of our human dramas; how we choose to view them will determine our life experiences.  We can choose love and gratitude for our opportunity to learn or fear and the illusion of being a victim.  It reminds me of an old Cherokee proverb.  

A Native American grandfather was teaching his grandson about life:  

“I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart,” the chief said to the boy.  “One wolf is evil—he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt and ego.  The other wolf is good—he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

 

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?”

 

The old chief replied, “The one that I feed.”  

As with everything in this earth experience, we have a choice.  We can choose love or fear.  Neither choice is right or wrong, but they will result in decidedly different experiences that determine which path our journey on earth will follow.  Which wolf will you choose to feed?  It is for each of us to decide.  

Peace.


Nancy Fischer is a Holistic Coach™ and author of Choices: Escaping the Illusion of Being a Victim.