By John McMullin, H.C.
From a holistic
perspective, habits are the thoughts and behaviors dedicated to self
preservation and survival learned from both painful and joyful experiences. Each
person travels a unique journey through life and in that process creates
beliefs and behavior to help various parts of the ego to feel valued and safe.
Some learned habits serve us well as they become a functional part of our life.
When habits are used appropriately, they allow us to multi-task and create a
feeling of self empowerment and focused effort. Dysfunctional habits create
fear and shame which keep us in a hypnotic trance and the cycle of behavior continues
to repeat. Dysfunctional habits seem to
disrupt healthy living and we realize we are not in control of our habits, but
rather our habits are in control of us.
can be judged either good or bad through our value system, they are simply
beliefs and thoughts that serve us or destroy us. Many of our habits are
expressed without conscious intention.
They come from the subconscious and unconscious realms and create the
illusion of control. Habits become dysfunctional when we act out thoughtless
behavior and drift into a hypnotic trance which can have devastating
consequences. As observers of our life, we step back and notice the functional
and dysfunctional beliefs and behaviors we express. We become curious about
their origins, and why some of our habits won’t change.
Our habits can
humble us from a place of curiosity, or humiliate us from a place of shame or
fear. From the ego’s point of view, parts of our minds are conflicted. As the
war rages within us, we notice ourselves acting out behavior that disappoints
shames or threatens us. Could it be true
that each of us has some attachment to shame and fear, because these aspects
give us the illusion of controlling ourselves or others? Obsessive, compulsive,
and addictive habits are forms of attachment that deflect us from a greater
fear or shame.
believe our greatest fear or shame is not meeting expectations of self or
others, the deeper fear or shame resides in our power and loveliness. The
holistic view suggests we use dysfunctional habits to validate our shame or
fear for the deflection of higher insights. One of the most seductive
dysfunctional habits is a numbing, or disassociating, to prevent us from
attaching emotions to our thinking and life experiences. This keeps many people
enduring life rather than living the full spectrum of their sensitivity,
compassion, and self realization.
Teaching our mind
to use habits, rather than habits using us, requires conscious attention and a
realization that the part of our mind that created the habits used them for
disassociation, deflection, numbing, and to keep us confused and unfocused.
Breaking dysfunctional habits requires an honest appraisal of our lifestyle,
including our beliefs and behaviors. Since many dysfunctional beliefs are
created out of reaction to a fearful encounter we can’t even recall, observing
the resulting behaviors without judgment is important in creating change.
How do we begin the journey of changing our habits? Become an observer of self, notice the predictable reactions to the challenges in life, and become curious about where you learned to disconnect in the interest of feeling protected or valued. Ask yourself how you can stay present in your feelings and body and not shame yourself for the intense emotions experienced. Learn to re-parent the parts of your ego by acknowledging your courage to change your experiences. Invite yourself to express and behave from a place of humbleness and make a mental choice to minimize the need to prove or defend anything. Ask yourself to become curious about the behavior of others and self and learn to minimize your judgment of both.
steps have helped many people change habits and bring a sense of self
empowerment into their life:
Changing habitual behavior is a process which creates an appreciation for the diversity and complexity of our ego agendas. Be compassionate with yourself. Each person creates their own journey of releasing bad habits and adopting good habits through conscious choice.
John McMullin, H.C. is the founder of Journeys of Wisdom where thousands of people have benefited from his intuitive, holistic teachings. Through the hundreds of classes available and different modalities offered, attendees have discovered spiritual and harmonious self empowerment leading to paths of wellness. John may be contacted by calling 614-888-1240 or emailing: Iamwisdom@attglobal.net.