How You (And I)
Change Our World
By L. Lexie Tyus, L.I.S.W.
“I rode a bull last weekend!” stated the 67 year old man sitting across from me. Soft-spoken and well-groomed, he regarded me with a mischievous grin, waiting for my response. He then went on to describe, with relish, being tossed from side to side and finally thrown, ending his tale with a laughing litany of the resulting aches and pains.
Over time, I had seen this man withdrawn and depressed. A well-regarded, retired professional, I could easily imagine him addressing groups or conducting meetings. What I could not imagine was what would prompt him to get on a bull! Certainly, the delight he took in the adventure itself (not to mention the telling of it), seemed to make the aches and pains worthwhile. But what had changed, and why?
Somewhere, years ago, I read the words:
“In every beginning, an ending is inevitable;
In every ending, a beginning is imminent.”
Change may not only be inevitable, it may be one of the few
constants in our fast-paced, multi-stressed lives. Constant change can lead to insecurity, as
well as frustrating and futile attempts to control our worlds. What if we could participate in the changes,
rather than fear and fight them?
Perhaps the key is in accepting that life
constantly asks us to change—not who we are (which is really just fine),
but how we are—how we express our “who.”
If we consent to the changing, we might find that to be fully alive is
to be willing to ride out the ups and downs of transitions. Rather than avoid them, we might actually seek
them out, maybe even the times of “being thrown”…
Where to begin? All of us have experienced defining
moments—the turning points (often in the form of crises) which signal
change. Despite often-compelling evidence
which points us outward in search for direction, it usually works much better
to go inward first, and then manifest outward.
Since it appears that the only place we have any shred of control,
anyway, is in our thoughts and our responses, it is best to refer first to our
own intuition, our own guidance, our own wisdom. (Most of us, incidentally, have a lot more of
all three than we know and believe!).
Somewhere, as part of the “going inward”
process, a choice is exercised, and a decision is made. And here’s the best part of all: Every decision that we make impacts on the
delicate web by which we are all connected—and thus changes the world. Think of it!
It’s you and me who change the world—not “them,” not “it.” Further, the
choice is not whether or not to change, but how, when, and with whom. Our choices may be elegant or
embarrassing—but we will choose, and subsequently change, again and again and
again.
What changes? Everything!... the
seasons, the weather, the size of our kids’ feet, our opinions, our minds, our
bodies. And within every change comes an
opportunity to reinvent ourselves, our experiences, our
world. From “birth” to what we refer to
as “death” (and possibly reaching into the shrouded realms before the one and
after the other), we progress along a most marvelous transit.
With each decision and subsequent change, we
also have the potential to move toward either fear or love. As to purpose,
could there be a better one than to move as far as we can toward all that is implied
by the simple word “LOVE,” taking the world along with us in the direction
which we have chosen.
So, back to our bull-riding man: The reasons for his decision to ride are
still obscure and remain known only to him.
It matters not at all (to me, at least) that the “bull” turned out to be
a mechanical one at the company picnic.
This man was choosing to be vibrantly alive.
A simple verse may say it all:
The Holy Rodeo
In days gone by, small boys would eye
the trappings of the cowboys…
The splendid horse
and then, of course,
the “bang-bang”—ah, the child-noise.
In years to come, the game would change…
The thrill of the wild unknown
would move inside,
for now the ride
would be fear riding love until thrown.
L. Lexie Tyus,
L.I.S.W. has maintained a private practice for 30 years in the